i is for...

the feeling when you want to create something can be...

intense.

the feeling when you look at your child can be intense.

there are so many emotions wrapped up in being both an artist and a mother. The artist part alone can be overwhelming. I believe all types of artists look at the world a bit differently. Maybe we see something that is not immediately obvious, get inspired by an orange gummy bear dropped haphazardly in the grass, the splash of a lime green wrist band at the gym, or the dark abyss of frozen lake water dusted with snow. 

There are many catalysts to creating.

I have often stepped back to look at a completed piece of art work and I feel this sort of high about what I created. It is the best feeling. 

and then...there are times when I look at my son, and I am knocked over. There is this love that sits there, heavy on my chest, almost as if it is...too much. I have no other way to describe it. Intense.

My guys recently brought me some lovely tulips, a burst of orange and yellow spilling color through my mind as they sat for a week, fully vibrant then drooping quickly. They often caught my eye as I walked past each day, and became the inspiration for the letter i painting. 

sometimes...

sometimes I need to feel paint on my fingertips.

sometimes I need to write...the words are all there, hovering, in the imaginary space above my head,and then they are tumbling down and sometimes I have to find a place to put them.

sometimes I just sit in silence. Or at least, in relative quiet. Silence is hard to come by these days.

sometimes I drift off and it takes me a moment to return. 

sometimes I really look at people instead of just glancing. I wonder who they are.

sometimes I feel so insecure I can't handle that exact moment with myself...and in another breath I could never imagine being anyone else.

sometimes I need to feel paint on my fingertips and then I cannot wait to wash it off.

h is for...

I know we all have that part of ourselves - you know the one - the secret part that we don't always share. 

I do.

I feel hidden away. Invisible. Sometimes I'm shouting to nothing or I'm shivering in the silence. I'm a blank canvas with a zillion colors swirling beneath. 

If you're a mom, a parent, do you ever feel yourself covering something? Do you stuff your emotions down inside and put on a brave face? Do you worry and wonder and tuck the toys under the couch for visitors?

Do you mask yourself with a selfie, some words, a piece of artwork that is abstract enough it doesn't have to explicitly say what you are feeling...

Are you hiding?

Come out and show yourself. 

I know you're in there, it's ok, I want to see you too. Maybe we will have something in common. xoxo

I would love for you to learn more about the side I hide. Learn a bit more about me at the mother manifesto right here

rainy day project

We have a had a lot of rain these past few weeks. I love the rain, I could sit around all day and drink tea, snuggle up under a blanket, and bask in the gloominess. That's not really possible with a wild four year old. Rain makes the glorious park wet and dangerous and it also makes SAHM's kinda stir crazy. This is an easy rainy day activity for kiddos to help make some Easter (or spring if Easter isn't your thing) decorations. It is as simple as drawing or tracing some shapes onto construction paper and letting your children (or yourself) draw to their hearts content. My son chose an egg and a bunny. I steered him towards pastel colors for a spring vibe but he really wanted brown (for chocolate bunnies) and dark green (because it's pretty) Who am I to stand in the way of creative genius?

When they are done with their creations, cut the shapes out, punch a hole in them and either thread them through some ribbon for a quick decoration...

Or add some letters to make a cute banner. Make a fold on the back of some rectangles or triangles of construction paper, place the ribbon and then glue the fold down to hold the ribbon in place and keep your banner letters facing forward. I used pipe cleaners to attach my cut outs so they would also stay forward facing. Make sure you leave enough ribbon on the ends of your banner to hang it. And if you don't remember, just tie some other ribbons on the ends and pretend you did it for aesthetic reasons. Happy crafting!

my art journal

I clearly love to write and create. I have kept many journals over the years and at some point I wanted to start combining things as I started simplifying my life. I started a new art journal that includes a lot of bits and pieces from old journals as well as some new ideas. My art world is somewhat organized chaos. Not a lot of it makes sense but some of it does, and if it doesn't who cares? It's my place to put my thoughts and my abstractions and just have fun. It's where I go when I want to doodle or throw some paint down and see what happens.

Here are a few pages...

These are a couple pages I am still working on. Thanks for checking out a bit of my journal xoxo

what is art anyway?

I love painting with my son, Oliver. He has this awesome method of dunking his brush in the paint, but not really mixing it all together to make that gray mess, (sometimes we get the gray mess, just not right away) and moving a very loaded brush across the table to paper. Inevitably some of the paint falls off the brush. I usually put some plastic or some kind of covering down to avoid major messes and spills. One time I did not and this happened:

Just look at that beautiful little drop. I snapped a quick photo and unfortunately it was a little blurry so you can't fully appreciate the colors in that perfect little drip of paint.

I have to admit that I can be a bit grumbly when I see pinterest projects telling you how to make your own paintings. "Just throw some paint on a canvas or cover it with some tape and paint over it and boom, your very own abstract art!"

Welllllll, don't get mad at me...but that's not abstract art. Abstract art is like Picasso. Taking some components of something real and altering it, perhaps totally. Abstracting it. Non- objective art is art that has zero reference to anything in our world. 

I won't go as far to say the aforementioned projects are NOT art. I don't believe that at all! It's creating something. Everyone has an artist inside, I firmly believe that. I just want to hop up on my soap box for a moment and let you know both abstract and non objective art do require technique and (I hope) artists are intentional with their creations. If you haven't seen Exit Through the Gift Shop  I highly recommend the film. It explores the idea of what is art and intentions behind creating, AND showcases some very cool street artists. 

My non-objective art is typically intentional but involves some happy accidents. I know where I want to start and because my method of painting is typically very fluid, things are constantly changing. I cannot always control the final results because how the paintings look when they are wet often change is they dry. Sometimes I'm happy, but if I'm not I re-work the piece until it looks right to me. And there is a top and a bottom. I know a lot of abstract art looks like it can go any which way. It can't. I promise :-) 

Clearly this paint drop from my four years old brush was not intentional. Wow, was it magical and fun. I tried to recreate it using his "method."

At first it was a hot mess. And while I was creating many hot messes look what little dude did with a drop and a swirl of the brush?! It's like looking into layers of the earth. Mesmerizing. 

While I was still attempting to create unintentional magic (hmmmm maybe that was the problem?)  I dripped paint on my scratched Target place mat. And there it was.

I didn't create the drop on purpose but I did select the colors, take the photograph and created the composition. Unintentional intention. Magic.

Here are two more attempts. 

There is a lot of freedom in flinging your child's craft paint around. I encourage you to watch what children do and let yourself go. Who knows what you might create...

g is for...genuine

Genuine. Real. Honest. When it's unbelievably hard, when it's not pretty, when you don't feel like showing up but you do anyway with your raw, uninspired, afraid self.

Genuine, authentic, open. Open to every emotion you feel and some you don't want to deal with. 

Genuine. Beautiful you, bare faced or covered in glitter, emanating whatever makes you, YOU.

Art can be honest. It can speak to the soul even if you're not listening. It can reach out and try to grab you, pull you inside and tell you something. That happens because there is something real in there, something that fell out of the artists self and onto the canvas. Art is sometimes quiet. Sometimes it is in your face. When you FEEL it, it always comes from the heart.

Eileen said "I know that creativity should always come from the heart. But when you have children every moment is creativity and from the heart.... genuine."

Such true words, being a mother makes you creative in ways you didn't think possible. Broccoli becomes trees and words take on new meanings. Love feels like this infinite warmth that is often doused with the cold water of reality. Motherhood is rough, it's soft, it's strong feelings in weak moments, it's ugly and gorgeous and a million contradictions. It's real.

Thanks to everyone who suggested words for my first contest. I appreciate you all! xoxo