e is for...

Evolve.

The ability to evolve is imperative for my artistic endeavors, creative spirit and simply growing up. It's also kind of a big deal for motherhood.

It's only natural children change and grow, sometimes constantly. As a parent I change as swiftly as my child does, even moment to moment. Problems become more complex as we mature, we rise to meet these various challenges and find ways to make it work, even if things are changing faster than we are. Of course, sometimes I feel barely evolved when I am sitting quietly on the couch, solely focused on a cup of coffee and making it through the day. I can't tell you how many times I feel like I'm regressing...re-doing...repeating. 

Yet, I strive to evolve. I want to develop stronger parenting skills, a more refined aesthetic as an artist, a better voice as a writer and most importantly I want to evolve as a person. As we know more we often do better, if we open ourselves to new ideas and other things outside of our limited perspective, we expand and grow and it can be a very beautiful (and often painful and challenging) thing. I feel when I stay stuck inside myself, never moving or shifting my behavior or my thoughts, I feel virtually locked in place and it's a very uncomfortable feeling for me. 

I would not be the person I am today if I did not change. My art is a reflection of that as well. I look back on things I created in the past and marvel at my artistic evolution. I look back on beliefs I held surrounding many subjects and do not recognize myself. As much as I've grown, there are those still moments where I sit in discomfort, unsure of the next step.

This word...evolve...was perfect for this specific project because I recently felt like my perception of it was changing. Not necessarily becoming more complex...maybe something easier. I was seeing something a bit more simple and not as busy.

I wanted more blank space. I needed something a little more calming.

Change can be exhausting.