accidents happen

So my first thought this morning was what the hell did I write last night at 1am? Second thought was can't wait to see what my paintings look like now that they are dry. Both things turned out okay and I realized I don't want to censor myself anyway so whatever!

the thing about my artwork is this: sometimes the stuff looks so incredible while it's in the liquid, paint still super wet, colors melding together to create perfect harmony stage. I totally get that smug feeling of "hey, I created that and it is the shit" and walk away feeling superior, wondering why I'm not already famous.

then the harsh reality of morning comes around and when I see the finished product the feeling becomes "no one can ever know about this." Ick, it's brown sludge or weird ghostly patterns of paint that look like an accident and not a happy one. This is definitely where the stages of creating an abstract painting rears its smug head and I realize my painting will not be complete in one day. I really am okay with the process, it's part of the joy of creating and the challenge of knowing when to stop painting something that only is supposed to look like the non-objective images that are in my head, coupled with the really happy accidents that come with this type of work.

the following piece is one that started out as a creepy take on a still life. I wasn't happy with it and kept painting over it again and again with still no happy result. I thought the shapes were so interesting so I didn't want to just scrap it.

Finally something happened and that funky painting became what I want it to be:

It definitely puts my in the right mood to create, make - and hope for - magic.

that being said, it's a beautiful moment when the painting turns out so right the first time and I don't have to tweak it or console it or buy it a new dress to make it feel pretty. This last piece (a few years old) is one that did just that on the first try:

It hangs up in my bedroom as a reminder of everything that I love.