wxyz is for...

My ABC series was moving right along and I was so excited to finish it, to finally complete one of my many half done projects. The paintings were complete, all photographed and uploaded into my computer...and then life happened like it typically does.

I'm expecting our second child and from the moment I got pregnant I was ill. All consuming, don't want to do anything, can't really do anything, omg when will it end illness.

Here I am crawling through the third trimester and I am so anxious to finish the ultimate project my body is creating. 

In the meantime, here is WXYZ, at last...

This creative mama is so tired and ready to start the new adventure.



W

I spend a lot of time in this frame of mind: wonder.

So does my child.

We spend many moments wondering about all kinds of things. His tend to be more fun. and interesting..is his brain made out of noodles? 

My wondering borders between fun and worrisome, exotic and mundane. 

What do you wonder about? What are fun things you wonder about with your child?

X

X is such a fun letter. Mysterious and difficult. Not many words that fit the creative mama narrative start with x.

X 's and O's. Hugs and kisses. We have a lot of love flowing in our family. My little guy absolutely loves to be affectionate and I cannot resist his sweet little boy hugs. He hugs my growing belly daily and tells me how much he loves everyone in his family, how much he loves the whole word.

I admire him so much. I hope my heart could hold half the love his contains.

Y

When I think of the word yield, I think of making way, giving space for something else to move before I can move forward.

This really sums about my version of parenthood. I have had to step back many times and just let things flow before comfortably moving forward. I have had to give up control and allow things to just be in order to have any sort of peace.

Art is so much like this...you think you know where you are going, and you are determined to get to that final vision, but sometimes you just have to step back and yield to whatever is happening.

Z

In parenting and creating it is so important to have passion for the process. It can be frustrating, intimidating, make you feel crazy and happy and all kinds of everything...but if you approach it with zeal, if you give it your all, your very best (even if it doesn't feel like much) the journey will be an exciting one, full of love, color and beauty.  It may be progress, not perfection, passion in the midst of growth and pain, but it will be quite the adventure.

It's an incredible ride and it's never ending. 

I hope you enjoyed my ABC's of the Creative Mama series! You can see all of the paintings here.

If you are interested in why my pregnancy journey has left this blog unattended for months I would love for you to check out my post over at Project Mother by clicking here! While you're there definitely check out some inspiring words and stories from all kinds of mamas going through the process.

XOXO

v is for...

vibrant. 

What comes to mind when you hear the word vibrant?

Is it something full of color?

Something full of life, fun and joy? 

Is it a feeling you get? Is it something that's difficult to define?

Vibrant is my word for happiness. It is a flash of color in a muted world. It's the whirlwind of emotions I feel when I have to immediately write something down or create a piece of artwork. Vibrant is reading something you want to share with the world because it is that brilliant and powerful.Vibrant is what I felt when I stood in the Art Institute of Chicago and saw my first real Rothko. Orange and yellow and joy. It made me pause because I absolutely fell into the colors and I knew in that moment why art was so important to me. 

My son often makes me feel that little jolt in my brain, a vibrant color that sparks up in the most mundane moment. It could be a look or something he says or just the sheer awe of his existence and the existence of all of us. 

Vibrant is my feeling for hope. Vibrant is my desire to unearth the molten center of myself. Vibrant is what I want my art to reflect. 

u is for...

Putting yourself out there is difficult. Visual artists put their feelings out for the world to see and often have very little language to explain. Abstract or non-objective art adds another layer of difficulty when most people are looking for an explanation. How do you explain your innermost heart? Feelings poured out on canvas, emotions that don't have a name but make sense in bursts of color or lines.

You face a barrage of accusations of no talent or talent equivalent to a child. After having my own child I'm learning to take that as a compliment. Have you seen the amazing things that come out of a child's mind? Unfiltered. Unabashed. 

Children are so brazen. They have not learned to be ashamed or concerned about the things they do or say. As they grow we teach them how to fit into social norms and move easily along with the crowd. I struggle a lot with my own child in this specific area. 

He is what I call "suddenly extroverted." He started out quite differently, running away in terror from other children and people in general. Beyond shy, actually scared of venturing outside his safe bubble.

Something changed and he sprinted towards the other end of the spectrum of introversion and extroversion. There are no strangers in his world. Everyone is there to talk to him and be his friend. I have to remind him before outings to not latch on to every single person he encounters. Trick or treating is challenging because he is not just interested in getting a piece of candy and moving on his way. He has a million questions and stories to share with the world.

I confess...it's exhausting for my little family. I second guess myself every other moment of the day with him. Am I wrong to tamper down his brave little unafraid heart? Am I wrong if I push him to slip into the crowd, unnoticed? 

Everyone has an opinion. In general I feel like the world is kind to him. They talk to him and indulge him, often the conversation lasts beyond my own introverted comfort level. Lots of people say he is this way because he's an only child. (I have a multitude of feelings about that) Some acknowledge his quirkiness and others dismiss it. I have no other personal experience to go by but it's difficult to see every other child say trick or treat and run to the next house while my child lingers and has to be basically dragged away and constantly reminded about the process.   

I did not intend to sit down and write all of...this. It's something my husband and I struggle with often and feel very self conscious about. We want to embrace our child's intelligence and uniqueness but we also want to help him avoid the difficulties that spark up in life when you are not just like everyone else. 

My child is beautiful. He is incredible in a million different ways. I love him more than I ever could imagine loving another human, this deep down, soul grasping, make you want to just cry love. He is smart and he is strong and he is unabashed. 

I will continue to struggle with his precocious nature and at the same time wonder about my wrongness. He is my heart put out on display for the world. I will love him fiercely and want to protect him from hurt, and hopefully not lose a single bit of his spirit in the process. While I am often ashamed of my feelings I will do my best to grab hold of some of his unabashed energy and let that lead me as well.   

t is for...

transform. We do that a lot as parents, as artists, as people. 

Maybe we reinvent our look, or change something about where or how we live, what we eat, who we spend our time with. 

My artistic journey has absolutely been one of transformation. I always wanted to draw, to create. I wanted to be an artist as soon as I knew about the desire of "being" something or someone. 

Although I always drew, I didn't really pick up a real paint brush until high school and I instantly fell in love with the idea of painting. I started out painting landscapes and I was in total awe of blending colors and shapes to create something that resembled reality. As I continued to pursue painting I changed directions several times, ultimately ending up really enjoying abstract and non-objective art, colorful and free. 

My journey through parenthood has also been an evolving adventure. Every time I think I have it figured out, something changes and I have to do something different to keep up with the craziness. I am very comfortable with change but on a day to day basis it is definitely a struggle. 

I am attempting to embrace the process. I have to transform as my child does, learn to grow with him and accept him, learn to meld two different personalities together on a daily basis. My transformation in parenthood has come in the form of letting go. Letting go of what I feel like things should look like and embracing what things actually are. 

s is for...

I have always been sensitive. I mean, I am a Pisces so it goes with the territory. Or the water. You know what I mean.

I cry easily. Over lots of things. In private. Sometimes it comes out in public too.

I get upset easily and my feelings get hurt even if I don't always show it. 

I always try to tell myself I don't care what other people think. If I did, why would I be this weirdo preppy non-objective artist who is just completely confused and often clueless? Of course I care (a little) about what people think. But what I care the most about is how I affect other people. In my previous life I was a dark little cloud of negativity. I say previous life because I have changed so much, and part of that is due to my sensitive nature really coming to light. I am bothered when other people are bothered. I am bothered when other people don't care about how they affect others. I am bothered if I am bothering others. I am bothered when people stand still (figuratively) when they could be moving somewhere, anywhere. I am bothered when I stand still myself. I am bothered with sadness and pain and struggle and it hurts. I try to see the positive more, in people and in life in general -and it is a struggle for me- but I continue to try because I cannot be overwhelmed by the darkness. It hurts too much.

I am still a bit of a dark cloud. The rain is usually falling on me somewhere and I'll admit I kind of like it that way. I like the gloom because I feel most safe when I can be hidden away. 

But I feel the most alive when I connect with people. My way to connect is through my writing and my visual art, so if you don't know I am truly a sensitive soul, I hope you see that through my creating.

Sensitivity exploded with parenthood. Now I get to be sensitive for two and omg does it hurt even more. I hurt when he hurts, I cry when he cries, I worry and stress and hope and daydream right along with him and for him when he hasn't figured out that mess of human emotions just yet.

My sensitivity shows in bursts. Sometimes it comes in waves of anger. Other times it is happiness that brings me to tears. When I am the most lost in my feelings I either want to create everything or nothing. It's a constant battle.

Without sensitivity I don't think I would be the artist I am. I can't even imagine being in my own skin if I wasn't thinking about and feeling everything...and if I'm not feeling everything what can I share with the world?

r is for...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Photo by Trang Ta on Unsplash


Resilient. 

Are you overextend? Maxed to capacity? Or just over it all? 

I know. Me too.

This goes beyond parenting and creating.

This is lamenting. 

I mean, it's not only about things to do although there are plenty of things that need to get done. Always. And it's not only about bumps in the road that sometimes turn into mountains. And it's not just the giant, constant heartbreak that torments us all. It's all of these things and this whole idea that you keep going and going and going until you collapse out of physical or emotional exhaustion...or you can't keep going because you're just tragically...gone.

If we make it to the next day...

We bounce back even if the spring is a little stretched out.

We recover because we want to survive.

And we help. We always, always help, because if we are not helping we are not recovering. If we are not helping we will never bounce back. 

What can we do to help each other?

q is for...

Quality.

Q is such a cool letter isn't it? I love how it looks, with the little tail on the end. It's the little things.

I have learned over my limited time as an artist and even less time as a mom, quality is definitely important.

I destroyed many potential great pieces by not using the best lasting materials or applying the appropriate surfaces to whatever medium I haphazardly threw down because I just HAD to get my creative urge out on the canvas! 

I am all for quick creating, it's a must do in the artsy mom world because you don't have all the time to fully invest in even the most desired project. It's still important to figure out the best way to make something last, and take the time to find products that work for whatever you want to achieve. I like these little paintings because they are manageable and I'm happy with the results. Large scale painting is not something I do much anymore because I need this magical thing called uninterrupted time and that disappeared somewhere around the time my son was born. 

Speaking of quality...and time...this applies to children too. Some days wander by in a chaotic wail of frustration and others fly by so fast I barely find the time to reheat my coffee more than once. I have spent many days bemoaning my crappy parenting but if I stop and think about the actual moments throughout a day, I can recount times that were seriously so special. There are so many quality moments throughout these long and tedious days. I know sometimes it's hard to find them but I promise they are there. They might rush by so fast and blurry you don't notice them, but they are there.

Maybe it's your child singing softly to themselves when they don't know you are listening...maybe it's the perfect cup of tea sipped while rain patters on the windows. It could be the lovely moment your child masters a skill they have struggled with and they smile so big, and then it becomes your moment too because you didn't even know you could be literally thrilled over something so mundane. Some moments for me are a gorgeous color that catches my eye, especially if it something found in nature. It's not a huge thing but I can savor the little glimpse of beauty. 

These moments might not seem like much but they matter. They are the quality pieces of your life, the little things that fill in the spaces between all the big craziness. Take a minute to think about your day, what quality moments did you have? 

I promise, they are there.

p is for...

So many words came to mind.

Patient. (hahaha) Proud. Picky. (So much this) Pretty. 

Pure...the essence of the love between my child and myself is simple.

It's not always easy and it's not always fun but it is pure. 

Sometimes he says something so innocent and funny, like when I finally tossed a torn shirt covered in stains and he said, so sadly, "I miss my white shirt that's in the trash." He thinks about things in a different and often unique way, like children do, and it's refreshing to see things through his eyes.

I feel this way as an artist. No one will see things the way I see them. It is difficult to feel like my art is pure...I see things all the time that inspire me, other artists work, their words, music, nature, even random, obscure things...but everything goes through this filter. And the remainder comes out like this pure, perfect thing, that only my mind understands. It is the job of an artist to communicate these inner thoughts and feelings in a way that others can understand. Right? Why does art hang on walls or sit on pedestals? Because it is there for the viewer. But you know what? Ultimately it doesn't matter if you like it. If you care, if you think it's pretty or awful or something in between. Because it's there for everyone and we are all different, pure in how we experience everything. Art is this amazing universal language because it speaks to you in ways only you can understand. 

When I was solely focused on creating non-objective art I struggled with my focus. I was always asked what my work meant, what it was saying. I didn't always have the words other than "organic, elements from nature etc." because it was basically just purely from my heart to my head to canvas. It was me spilling out in this explosion of color because that is simply what I felt. No explanation needed, really. Sometimes people would tell me what they saw in my paintings and I LOVED that. I loved hearing what others saw, even it was different than my own feelings when I painted the piece. I loved it because I could see something new through their eyes, just like I get to see so many new things through my child's eyes. 

Pure connection. That's so important to me. Thanks for tripping around in my head a bit with me today, I get lost in there sometimes. 

xoxo

o is for...

I am sharing a few words from my friend Eileen (thanks lady)

"After all the lessons, all the shouting matches, all the creativity and showing them how to make choices...there comes a time when we just have to sit back and let them do things themselves. 

When we observe, we see their first steps, the unsolicited hugs they have for their friends and siblings, their problem solving, their confidence on the playground, and their choices.

When we observe, we see our children's true personality and character. The moment when we see as a parent that our babies do listen to us. And do want to make us proud."

Que the waterfall of tears when I read Eileen's words in response to an O word for this series. I really couldn't say it better so I hope she does not mind my overstep. 

Observe.

I love it. I need to do it more. I used to.

When I was younger, still growing up, (still am) I watched a lot. I wrote a lot. I retreated a lot. And when I did actually speak up, I realized (most of the time) people listened. It was a strange experience for me to see anyone perk up at what I had to say. I started speaking more but that's a story for another post ;-)

I still prefer to sit back, to watch and wait for what is supposed to happen. I was never the child that ran for the pinata when it broke. Even though I love candy. I was a tad timid but strong enough to know what I did or did not want. 

I try to imagine myself through my parents eyes. I wonder what they observed about me, how they watched me change and grow, struggle and triumph. I watch my own child on the playground, adrift in his own world, running with a hula hoop imagining who knows what, and I wonder where he will go.

I need to remember to do this more, getting to the school a few minutes early to observe him, slipping into his room at night to admire his little face just one more time before I go to sleep, letting him wander while we walk and just watching where he wants to go...

I always wanted to create. I always wanted to tell stories. This is a part of my fabric, it's what makes me, me. When my child tells me who he is I want to listen and enjoy the beauty of watching what is supposed to happen. I know he will make me, so, so proud. He already does. 

n is for...

I feel at my creative best when it comes to me naturally. 

There are times I am in the middle of doing something mundane and inspiration strikes...so I open up my art journal and start drawing something. Or I write a few words down on a scrap of paper. I often open up the notes feature on my phone and use the microphone to record some thoughts. Those random words turn into blog posts, stories and poems.

Natural felt right for this painting.

I love the idea of "natural" when it comes to parenting as well. And no, I don't mean natural is in crunchy, organic, holistic etc. not that I find anything wrong with any of those things. I mean, as long as I can still have Oreos once in a while. Balance. 

Anyway, I mean natural in terms of the feeling of being a parent.

I had zero clues how to be parent before I became one. Really, I also had zero clues after actually becoming a parent. Currently, I have one, maybe two clues, and I hope those continue to accumulate as I gain more parenting experience. Although I had zero clues, I did have a hopeful heart. And apparently some of those parenting things actually do come naturally! 

I feel like a big part of the whole "naturally knowing how to be a parent thing" is you have a natural instinct as to what is right for YOUR child. Other people can give you all kinds of advice, tell you how they did all kinds of things, and while they might be doing absolutely everything right for their child, that does not mean it is a fit for your own. No way. I speak from limited experience here, but as someone with a clue and a half, listen to me. You know your child better than anyone. That will probably change as they start to really grow up and turn into independent souls trying on a variety of personalities and experiences, but right now, at these tender young ages, you know them. You do. Like, I, for example, knew my son wanted strawberries when he said "tartars" and "car" meant "car" while "car car" meant motorcycle. I also knew when some things he was experiencing at age 3 were not part of the typical child experience...and I knew he needed some additional help. 

I know it all feels overwhelming. I stood in a baby store, very pregnant and very confused, asking my bff if she could just pick everything out for me. (and she did, and that stuff was great) Of course, once my son actually arrived, I was able to learn from him about what he needed, what would work for him, what would work for all of us together as a family.

It was a natural thing that continues to evolve. I am finding I do my best parenting when I also let it happen naturally. I can plan and worry and try to make everything perfect but sometimes the day is just so much better when we stay in a build a couch cushion fort... because my very vocal child is in need of a rest day at home, away from the world and all of its demands, just for a day. I am not inside his head to understand every thing he's feeling, but right now I know what he needs.

It's only natural. 
xoxo

m is for...

Have you seen photographs floating around about the painted rocks? Kindness Rocks. Lovely people are painting images and inspiring, thoughtful words on rocks and leaving them for other souls to find. I think it's a fantastic way to connect with the world, to share a little bit of love with a stranger. Intentional love, reaching out to the world without worry or care about who will find it. Everyone is worthy of this expression of love. Everyone deserves kindness. Hopefully each rock finds its way to a person who needs a little message of love or hope, something beautiful in this often very ugly life.

I hadn't heard about the painted rock projects until I found one myself. 

I was walking my dog on one of our usual routes. A flash of yellow caught my eye and I doubled back to take a look at this huge tree stump. I thought it was a pin or sticker but as I got closer I saw it was a rock. And it said...

It was so perfect. I walked away smiling, so thrilled I found such a fun little message. It really felt like it was meant for me. I didn't even think about taking it so I hope someone else found it and is enjoying it. I went by the tree trunk later and it was gone.

This weeks painting is inspired by the rock that totally made my day. Thank you fellow human, you inspired me and made me smile. You are kind. YOU are magic. 

Magic is a perfect word for creative mothers (and all creative people). We make so many beautiful things out of scraps of nothing. On those who so frustrating days, when we are about to absolutely lose our shit, something makes us remember ourselves and we stop, take a deep breath, pick up the paintbrush or the pen or whatever method we use to create and we make some magic.

Magic.

Remember, you are magic.  Now get out there and paint some rocks and leave them for someone to find. You might be the catalyst for something beautiful. I plan to be the same. 

l is for...

What else could it be?

No other word feels right.

Simple, yet perfect.

Love.

Absolute love.

I create because it is part of me, it was the first great love of my life.

I love my child with everything I have, even in the midst of chaos and frustration, I love. 

If nothing else, really... IF NOTHING ELSE, remember to love.

Just...love.

Without judgement (I know, that one is so hard) without hesitation, without having to know everything about anything or anything about everything, just love. Love the big, wide world of people like you love your own little circle of people. We are all breathing the same air in and out and we are all here, wanting, needing, hoping for love on so many different levels.

Every day I wake up and sometimes life smacks me full force in the face. Sometimes it's a little tap that nudges me stumbling towards the coffee. Sometimes it is the rolling, booming of an early morning storm that lulls me from a restless night, or a sweet, sleepy little voice asking for a hug. At the base of it all is love. I seek to find that bit of love that makes the day worthwhile when it feels anything but. 

What do you love? Who do you love? Who loves you? I hope you finish this month basking in the feeling of love. We are ALL worthy of it and we all deserve it. So much love to you. xoxo

k is for...

Movement starts early on in life. Before you see your babies first scrunchy, yawning expression, you are likely to feel them wriggling around inside your body. It starts as a little flutter, lighter than air. You might feel like you are imagining it. And those flutters turn to jabs and kicks and rolling. Every body handles pregnancy differently, but movement is a big factor for many mamas. 

My son rolled around, stretching his long body as far as he could, his little butt jutting my stomach out. It was beyond words, just the most incredible feeling. And weird too. Definitely weird.

Once he was born he was free to fully wiggle, and the movement has not stopped. He was popping his arms out of his swaddle. Now he can hardly sit still, sliding out of his chair, tapping and pressing his feet against mine when we are snuggling on the couch, flailing his legs and arms around every chance he gets. 

He is very often in motion, just like an exciting work of art. When paint seems like it is moving, floating, drifting or rushing on a still canvas, it inspires me.

K was a difficult letter. A few words rolled around in my mind but I settled on kinetic. Movement. Motion. 

It feels fitting for a creative mom. A mom is on the go, moving sometimes even in sleep, always reaching, wondering, awake and running. 

K also stands for Kid Crafts. Check out my blog each month for a new craft. I'll confess, I prefer fine art to crafting but my taste has transformed a bit as I have grown into parenthood. There is a whole world of fun things to create out of various items. It's enjoyable to watch my son construct something and in turn learn about color, composition and art materials. Pom poms are fun. Glitter is magical. Pipe cleaners become animals, cupcake liners have endless possibilities and you know what, it's FUN. So craft away fellow artists, I will share my ideas each week. 

j is really for...

My mind went to the negative first. Justify. Judgment. I have felt both of these things in regards to motherhood and my art. 

Ultimately, I settled on joy.

Joy in what you create, joy in your child. 

Light and happy, free and flowing. 

It can be the total opposite of these but today I focus on joy. 



I hope you check out my latest post on Project Mother, all about the transition to becoming a stay at home mom and how that impacted my life, plus some tips on how to take care of yourself if you are struggling.

xoxo

j is for...

just didn't get it done. Seriously. I have no j painting yet because it didn't happen. I wanted it to happen but somehow between trying to get multiple blog posts written, finding a swim suit to fit my still "losing the baby weight four years later and I'm tall but not skinny" figure, teaching another human how to behave in all life situations and many episodes of cleaning stuff up I randomly drop... painting just didn't happen.

Do you ever have those days where you are just like...damn it. That happens to me constantly. Like, before I sat down to write this blog post I was preparing an iced coffee and when I go to shake up coconut coffee creamer apparently the cap was broken anddddd creamer. goes. every. where. Several minutes of cleaning sticky coffee creamer off a dog hair covered floor is delightful.

And then I'm out walking and get totally freaked out by this very odd person who is standing super still because wait OMG it's a mannequin?! Why, people. Why?

Oh, and then there is this sharp little spot poking out on the floor of our sorta gross basement. I literally step on it every single time I walk by it while doing a thousand loads of laundry each week. Every. single. time. Damn IT. 

Reality sets in pretty quick. If these are my biggest problems in this very moment it's so good. I am learning to live moment to moment because when I look at the grand scale of life I get so tripped up and overwhelmed. The world can be that sharp spot sticking out you know? It's that little bitch you keep tripping over or the creepy mannequin just chilling outside to scare you for no reason. I'm still in that phase of feeling like I will NEVER complete the things I set out to do. It numbs me sometimes. 

I'll just keep cleaning up the mess and keep going. 

i is for...

the feeling when you want to create something can be...

intense.

the feeling when you look at your child can be intense.

there are so many emotions wrapped up in being both an artist and a mother. The artist part alone can be overwhelming. I believe all types of artists look at the world a bit differently. Maybe we see something that is not immediately obvious, get inspired by an orange gummy bear dropped haphazardly in the grass, the splash of a lime green wrist band at the gym, or the dark abyss of frozen lake water dusted with snow. 

There are many catalysts to creating.

I have often stepped back to look at a completed piece of art work and I feel this sort of high about what I created. It is the best feeling. 

and then...there are times when I look at my son, and I am knocked over. There is this love that sits there, heavy on my chest, almost as if it is...too much. I have no other way to describe it. Intense.

My guys recently brought me some lovely tulips, a burst of orange and yellow spilling color through my mind as they sat for a week, fully vibrant then drooping quickly. They often caught my eye as I walked past each day, and became the inspiration for the letter i painting. 

h is for...

I know we all have that part of ourselves - you know the one - the secret part that we don't always share. 

I do.

I feel hidden away. Invisible. Sometimes I'm shouting to nothing or I'm shivering in the silence. I'm a blank canvas with a zillion colors swirling beneath. 

If you're a mom, a parent, do you ever feel yourself covering something? Do you stuff your emotions down inside and put on a brave face? Do you worry and wonder and tuck the toys under the couch for visitors?

Do you mask yourself with a selfie, some words, a piece of artwork that is abstract enough it doesn't have to explicitly say what you are feeling...

Are you hiding?

Come out and show yourself. 

I know you're in there, it's ok, I want to see you too. Maybe we will have something in common. xoxo

I would love for you to learn more about the side I hide. Learn a bit more about me at the mother manifesto right here

g is for...genuine

Genuine. Real. Honest. When it's unbelievably hard, when it's not pretty, when you don't feel like showing up but you do anyway with your raw, uninspired, afraid self.

Genuine, authentic, open. Open to every emotion you feel and some you don't want to deal with. 

Genuine. Beautiful you, bare faced or covered in glitter, emanating whatever makes you, YOU.

Art can be honest. It can speak to the soul even if you're not listening. It can reach out and try to grab you, pull you inside and tell you something. That happens because there is something real in there, something that fell out of the artists self and onto the canvas. Art is sometimes quiet. Sometimes it is in your face. When you FEEL it, it always comes from the heart.

Eileen said "I know that creativity should always come from the heart. But when you have children every moment is creativity and from the heart.... genuine."

Such true words, being a mother makes you creative in ways you didn't think possible. Broccoli becomes trees and words take on new meanings. Love feels like this infinite warmth that is often doused with the cold water of reality. Motherhood is rough, it's soft, it's strong feelings in weak moments, it's ugly and gorgeous and a million contradictions. It's real.

Thanks to everyone who suggested words for my first contest. I appreciate you all! xoxo