we joked a lot about that phrase during Jalaine's long and rough labor but Saturday August 27th, at 4:34pm what I saw can't really be described any other way. Jalaine and Sean welcomed their baby boy, Grady Brendan Colgan into the world yesterday and it was absolutely the most incredible thing I have ever witnessed in my entire life. I feel so happy that she allowed me to be such an intimate part of this special moment in their lives.
Obviously, I totally get how babies are born and how all of that stuff works but nothing really clicked until the moment I saw an actual life coming into this world. It was insane! Beauty and pain wrapped up so closely inside each other it was difficult to distinguish the two. I remember telling Jalaine that this would be the hardest and the best thing she ever did (I can only assume) and I really believe that. I had a new sense of awe for every mother I know, for mine and Jeff's and the two (make that three!) mothers' in Jalaine's delivery room. I felt an overwhelming feeling of love and admiration for women in general and this stunning thing we can achieve with our bodies. I also felt that admiration for the men that love these women...Sean was so sweet and wonderful to Jalaine. I already knew he was a good husband to her and it was so touching to see him on their journey together, celebrating the birth of their son.
I am exhausted so I can only imagine how Jalaine feels. I meant to spend my weekend painting, catching up on all the paint-less days I have missed these past few months. Grady came early so I didn't get the chance to paint but it doesn't matter because there is no way I could have captured with paint the true miracle of a new life. Love you Colgans!
Monday, August 29, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
I seem to have fallen behind
long week, I'm exhausted, feeling sickly...excitement on the horizon...got my syllabus for my first graduate class today.
oh, and I love my new bird cage/bird stamp from west elm
and my new cotton candy body spray...calgon, please take me away.
oh, and I love my new bird cage/bird stamp from west elm
and my new cotton candy body spray...calgon, please take me away.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
phases and changes part three: freedom of expression
I did learn pretty quickly what freedom in terms of creation means to me. It means...no brushes unless I feel like it. It means weird sizes that maybe don't always fit the standard frame sizes. (still loving those long human figure like sizes) Sometimes it means no frames and raw canvas. It means spray bottles and squeeze bottles and paper with paint or paint on paper. It means stepping into the box of what is supposed to be "professional" art and stepping right back out again because who wants those rules? I thought art didn't have any rules?
Oh, I have learned a lot. I learned a lot when I was in school studying fine art. I learned from private art lessons and I learned from other artists and I even learned quite a bit working in an art store. I learned from snotty self righteous critiques from self proclaimed "real" artists and I learned from honest helpful and humbling commentary too. I learned when during a senior painting class I randomly painted a bunch of snorkeling and playing in the ocean scenes from my honeymoon and later wondered why on earth did I paint those?! Well, I'm pretty sure I chose that subject because I was remembering a beautiful time and that was okay for that moment in my life.
I am still learning and reaching out to more artists, friends, colleagues and the wonderful world of books and the internet to continuously learn.
I know you shouldn't put glass over canvas and you should use archival mat boards, artist tape, acid free papers and other materials to protect your art. I know about different mediums you can use with paint and what types of brushes give a certain effect. I know certain acrylic paints are a more professional grade and do work better. I know how to clean my brushes and prime my canvas and what is acceptable for framing and hanging work. I know that Yupo paper is amazing.
You know what else I know? I know that sometimes it's okay to buy cheaper paint because that's all I can afford. Guess what, I'm still an artist. I also know that I can add water (free) to virtually all of my paints (even the softer bodies with more flow already) and really extend them to create the effect I want. I have done that with virtually all of my paintings and I find water works better than most of the mediums and extenders sold for that purpose. I'm not knocking all the cool stuff. I love Golden products. However, if I can only put money into my art if I sell art (that's the new reasoning)...for now it's got to be more on the "free" side!
I know I want to sell art but I don't really want to pay for a wall to display it although I am starting to think I might have to. I know my framing skills aren't the best but I can do enough to get by without going the pro route.
I also know that all those home makeover shows are very fun to watch but they REALLY piss me off when they hand someone a canvas and some wall paint and tell them to make "art". Cool, if you want to try your hand at painting I am all for it. But when you slap some paint that matches your room decor on a board in thirty minutes and call it abstract it makes me want to scream at you to support the local artists in your area. Hey, you might even find someone to donate something if it means showing your work on a popular tv show. You have my number if you want a donation. Oh, and it also really pisses me off when this supposed art actually looks good, just sayin.
I know I love art...I love painting and I still want to crawl into some place warm and dark when I think about showing in galleries or restaurants or anywhere else. Obviously I want to and I am proud to show my work but I'm still always afraid. I'm afraid of the judgement and the explanation and the proof that what I'm doing really is pretty damn good. Did I check all the right boxes? Did I do what I was supposed to do? Does someone think I am also just slapping paint on a board?
Jenn sent me a nice comment about my previous blog on abstract and non-objective art. She enjoyed how I explained the process and I think that's something really important to note when you hear me trashing those decorating shows and their version of creating art work.
Expression comes in so many different ways. I hope you can see it in every line and swirl in my work, whether it is something non-objective or something you can recognize. Thanks for listening to me today. I appreciate everything you have to teach me.
Oh, I have learned a lot. I learned a lot when I was in school studying fine art. I learned from private art lessons and I learned from other artists and I even learned quite a bit working in an art store. I learned from snotty self righteous critiques from self proclaimed "real" artists and I learned from honest helpful and humbling commentary too. I learned when during a senior painting class I randomly painted a bunch of snorkeling and playing in the ocean scenes from my honeymoon and later wondered why on earth did I paint those?! Well, I'm pretty sure I chose that subject because I was remembering a beautiful time and that was okay for that moment in my life.
I am still learning and reaching out to more artists, friends, colleagues and the wonderful world of books and the internet to continuously learn.
I know you shouldn't put glass over canvas and you should use archival mat boards, artist tape, acid free papers and other materials to protect your art. I know about different mediums you can use with paint and what types of brushes give a certain effect. I know certain acrylic paints are a more professional grade and do work better. I know how to clean my brushes and prime my canvas and what is acceptable for framing and hanging work. I know that Yupo paper is amazing.
You know what else I know? I know that sometimes it's okay to buy cheaper paint because that's all I can afford. Guess what, I'm still an artist. I also know that I can add water (free) to virtually all of my paints (even the softer bodies with more flow already) and really extend them to create the effect I want. I have done that with virtually all of my paintings and I find water works better than most of the mediums and extenders sold for that purpose. I'm not knocking all the cool stuff. I love Golden products. However, if I can only put money into my art if I sell art (that's the new reasoning)...for now it's got to be more on the "free" side!
I know I want to sell art but I don't really want to pay for a wall to display it although I am starting to think I might have to. I know my framing skills aren't the best but I can do enough to get by without going the pro route.
I also know that all those home makeover shows are very fun to watch but they REALLY piss me off when they hand someone a canvas and some wall paint and tell them to make "art". Cool, if you want to try your hand at painting I am all for it. But when you slap some paint that matches your room decor on a board in thirty minutes and call it abstract it makes me want to scream at you to support the local artists in your area. Hey, you might even find someone to donate something if it means showing your work on a popular tv show. You have my number if you want a donation. Oh, and it also really pisses me off when this supposed art actually looks good, just sayin.
I know I love art...I love painting and I still want to crawl into some place warm and dark when I think about showing in galleries or restaurants or anywhere else. Obviously I want to and I am proud to show my work but I'm still always afraid. I'm afraid of the judgement and the explanation and the proof that what I'm doing really is pretty damn good. Did I check all the right boxes? Did I do what I was supposed to do? Does someone think I am also just slapping paint on a board?
Jenn sent me a nice comment about my previous blog on abstract and non-objective art. She enjoyed how I explained the process and I think that's something really important to note when you hear me trashing those decorating shows and their version of creating art work.
Expression comes in so many different ways. I hope you can see it in every line and swirl in my work, whether it is something non-objective or something you can recognize. Thanks for listening to me today. I appreciate everything you have to teach me.
Friday, August 19, 2011
phases and changes part two: what is abstract anyway?
believe it or not, abstract art is not just something your kid could paint. That would actually be non-objective art. Haha, just kidding! I am in love with the abstract and I would say most of my work is non-objective, a type of abstraction where you don't see any recognizable object or anything really when you look it. I tend to view this type of work from an emotional perspective and allow my feelings to help me understand the potential subject matter.
Abstract art actually does stem from something real. That something is just transformed in a way so it is not entirely recognizable. There are varying degrees of abstraction as well.
I mean, really isn't all art abstracted to some degree? You can't possibly have every person on earth look at a piece of art and instantly define it, even if it is a realistic picture of a bowl of cherries. Sure, they look like cherries and they seem good enough to eat but why are they there? Do the cherries represent something? And what if I took that image of a bowl of cherries and I ran a brush through the wet paint, rendering it unrecognizable but maintaining the cherry red color. Would it remind you of cherries? Maybe it would make you think of pain, or of love. Perhaps if the painting had two cherries resting in a bowl together you would also think of love or of innocence or seduction. I could go on an on but the point for me is art is what you make of it. I think I do have a responsibility as an artist to know what I'm trying to convey when I create something. I have to be honest and say I don't always know. Sometimes I paint based on my mood and just reach for the colors that feel right at the moment. Lately I've created non-objective pieces based on a feeling of calm or a rush of serenity or energy and than later painted, very clearly, a not so abstract butterfly or two hovering around. Is it abstract or non-objective or both? What does it mean?
Let me start with how I started to understand abstraction. I took a drawing class in high school that really helped define it for me. We had to start with a realistic image. I chose a snake for some reason. We had six stages to transform this real image into an abstracted piece. We had a few guidelines, like using complimentary colors in one stage and secondary colors in another, incorporating lights and darks and breaking up the image into shapes. This is my assignment that I found tucked inside an old sketchbook. (excuse the poor quality. these are *gasp* over twelve years old!)
The final stage we used to create a painting. And "Snake" was born.
I did have an anxious time painting this. I remember it like it was yesterday, it's so clear to me. I had my painting propped up on an easel at the back of the art room and I stood there confused and wondering if I was doing it right. How could I know if I was doing it right? It wasn't supposed to really look like anything! This was the first abstract painting I ever did and it scared me a bit. I did dive back into landscapes in college and painted some of the landscapes I showed you in my last blog entry. They didn't hold my interest too long because the fun of abstraction tickled the back of my head and made me wonder what else there was to explore outside of the natural world. What kind of world could I create for myself?
tomorrow... part three: freedom of expression
Abstract art actually does stem from something real. That something is just transformed in a way so it is not entirely recognizable. There are varying degrees of abstraction as well.
I mean, really isn't all art abstracted to some degree? You can't possibly have every person on earth look at a piece of art and instantly define it, even if it is a realistic picture of a bowl of cherries. Sure, they look like cherries and they seem good enough to eat but why are they there? Do the cherries represent something? And what if I took that image of a bowl of cherries and I ran a brush through the wet paint, rendering it unrecognizable but maintaining the cherry red color. Would it remind you of cherries? Maybe it would make you think of pain, or of love. Perhaps if the painting had two cherries resting in a bowl together you would also think of love or of innocence or seduction. I could go on an on but the point for me is art is what you make of it. I think I do have a responsibility as an artist to know what I'm trying to convey when I create something. I have to be honest and say I don't always know. Sometimes I paint based on my mood and just reach for the colors that feel right at the moment. Lately I've created non-objective pieces based on a feeling of calm or a rush of serenity or energy and than later painted, very clearly, a not so abstract butterfly or two hovering around. Is it abstract or non-objective or both? What does it mean?
Let me start with how I started to understand abstraction. I took a drawing class in high school that really helped define it for me. We had to start with a realistic image. I chose a snake for some reason. We had six stages to transform this real image into an abstracted piece. We had a few guidelines, like using complimentary colors in one stage and secondary colors in another, incorporating lights and darks and breaking up the image into shapes. This is my assignment that I found tucked inside an old sketchbook. (excuse the poor quality. these are *gasp* over twelve years old!)
The final stage we used to create a painting. And "Snake" was born.
I did have an anxious time painting this. I remember it like it was yesterday, it's so clear to me. I had my painting propped up on an easel at the back of the art room and I stood there confused and wondering if I was doing it right. How could I know if I was doing it right? It wasn't supposed to really look like anything! This was the first abstract painting I ever did and it scared me a bit. I did dive back into landscapes in college and painted some of the landscapes I showed you in my last blog entry. They didn't hold my interest too long because the fun of abstraction tickled the back of my head and made me wonder what else there was to explore outside of the natural world. What kind of world could I create for myself?
tomorrow... part three: freedom of expression
Thursday, August 18, 2011
phases and changes part one: Landscapes
I know I have written before about my evolution with my painting. You can read more about that here in my blog post art is pretty.
I mentioned I am starting the cleansing of my paintings. It is finally time to go through the stacks collecting dust in the basement and determine what really needs to be a part of the permanent Alli collection, things I want to sell and I am proud to share with the world.
Really, I am proud of everything I have done. I will never forget the moment I completed my first real painting. I can barely describe the feeling when I stood across the room like I figured you were supposed to do to view art. I took a deep breath and looked at the Alfred Sisley copy I had done, in oils of course, of an impressionist landscape. It didn't look exactly like the original but hell, I painted it and that was some good stuff! If I could copy another artists painting couldn't I paint my own?
I had always always loved art and wanted to "be an artist" whatever that meant but it really was that moment that I absolutely knew with every inch of my teenage heart that art was something really special to me and would stay with me a very long time. That is also the moment I clutched the paintbrush in my hand and it metaphorically melted, fitting to me in a way no other artist's instrument ever had.
This is the original painting I chose to copy: Meadow 1875 by Alfred Sisley
and this was my copy or interpretation of it. notice how silly me signed it? hey, I was proud!
so I knew I loved painting but what should I paint? I love outside too and beautiful sunsets and glowing meadows and the unending ocean...that is what I chose to paint.
tomorrow...part two: What is "abstract" anyway?
I mentioned I am starting the cleansing of my paintings. It is finally time to go through the stacks collecting dust in the basement and determine what really needs to be a part of the permanent Alli collection, things I want to sell and I am proud to share with the world.
Really, I am proud of everything I have done. I will never forget the moment I completed my first real painting. I can barely describe the feeling when I stood across the room like I figured you were supposed to do to view art. I took a deep breath and looked at the Alfred Sisley copy I had done, in oils of course, of an impressionist landscape. It didn't look exactly like the original but hell, I painted it and that was some good stuff! If I could copy another artists painting couldn't I paint my own?
I had always always loved art and wanted to "be an artist" whatever that meant but it really was that moment that I absolutely knew with every inch of my teenage heart that art was something really special to me and would stay with me a very long time. That is also the moment I clutched the paintbrush in my hand and it metaphorically melted, fitting to me in a way no other artist's instrument ever had.
This is the original painting I chose to copy: Meadow 1875 by Alfred Sisley
and this was my copy or interpretation of it. notice how silly me signed it? hey, I was proud!
so I knew I loved painting but what should I paint? I love outside too and beautiful sunsets and glowing meadows and the unending ocean...that is what I chose to paint.
tomorrow...part two: What is "abstract" anyway?
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
I would write your name across the sky...
some might say I have a slightly...older...taste in music. I just kinda dig Hall and Oates and always swoon to late sixties and seventies rock...
time for some old art! Until I have some time to produce something new how about a little bit of something older to savor?
sometimes the classics just stay with us.
time for some old art! Until I have some time to produce something new how about a little bit of something older to savor?
sometimes the classics just stay with us.
Monday, August 15, 2011
happy things part two
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| random paintings stacked up waiting to be finished |
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| scrap mat board used as a palette |
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| details |
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| using a frame in a different way |
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| fun drawings from college drawing workshop |
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| perry the penguin - a gift from Jeff on our six month dating anniversary |
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| stuff I just need to hold onto |
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| pictures and words I have to frame |
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| my thermos found at a garage sale...have you seen The Jerk? You really should. |
Sunday, August 14, 2011
art coming soon
art blogs/projects are coming soon. I spent pretty much my entire Saturday going through all of my art supplies/boxes/miscellaneous stuff and organizing my art space.
I found lots of fun things along the way...a frame project to work on for the spare room, various inspiring prints and photographs, fun art related comics Jenn has sent me over the years and several angsty journals better left unread. I also found an almost finished screenplay I wrote in high school! It's called "Shriek" and was based on making fun of the scream movies, kind of like the scary movie series but in my opinion a little more clever. It was pretty funny...to me anyway.
Now that I am finally mostly organized (trust me that's important for me-see photo below for proof) I can start on this massive art to do list I've been carrying around with me. I also really need to go through all of my paintings and conduct a "cleansing" Right now they are all jumbled on top of each other in the basement and desperately seeking relevance and their placement in the world.
To relax today we went on a nice walk and then let Cooper play in the kiddie pool to cool off a bit. I also wanted to share the brilliant hiding places my sweet little dog used all week for his doggie bagel. Clearly he does not have any trust issues.
Oh yeah, there was also this really cute guy hanging out so I decided to take his picture too :-)
I found lots of fun things along the way...a frame project to work on for the spare room, various inspiring prints and photographs, fun art related comics Jenn has sent me over the years and several angsty journals better left unread. I also found an almost finished screenplay I wrote in high school! It's called "Shriek" and was based on making fun of the scream movies, kind of like the scary movie series but in my opinion a little more clever. It was pretty funny...to me anyway.
Now that I am finally mostly organized (trust me that's important for me-see photo below for proof) I can start on this massive art to do list I've been carrying around with me. I also really need to go through all of my paintings and conduct a "cleansing" Right now they are all jumbled on top of each other in the basement and desperately seeking relevance and their placement in the world.
To relax today we went on a nice walk and then let Cooper play in the kiddie pool to cool off a bit. I also wanted to share the brilliant hiding places my sweet little dog used all week for his doggie bagel. Clearly he does not have any trust issues.
Oh yeah, there was also this really cute guy hanging out so I decided to take his picture too :-)
Sunday, August 7, 2011
seven years later
I can't believe we have been married for seven years. Time has gone by so quickly although certain moments seemed to last longer than others. It has been a lot of ups and a few downs, some changes and shifting every which way...but always we do our best that we can together.
Today we ventured out on a hike to celebrate our anniversary. Well, a lovely little hike turned into an over nine mile almost five hour adventure that left us sore and exhausted, but happy too. Even though we were tired and unsure of when we would actually reach the peak we kept moving. Even though we knew we would still have a long climb back down after we reached the top we still made it and enjoyed both the view and I really think the struggle in achieving something that felt challenging. We passed the sweetest looking old couple and marveled at how they actually made it to the peak. Sure, they were slow and a little sluggish but they sure enough they walked all the way to the top and it made me smile to pass them on our way back down.
Seven years ago on a warm August day I vowed my commitment and love for Jeff in a little church in Golden, CO. We often talk about how we might have treated our wedding differently, how we have grown up together and grown in confidence with ourselves. I can safely say you are still learning about "you" at 18, at 22...now at almost 30, yes, there is still learning and so much more to look forward to.
I am happy to have you by my side to continue to learn and grow.
Thank you to everyone for your kind words and loving thoughts to us today and always.
Today we ventured out on a hike to celebrate our anniversary. Well, a lovely little hike turned into an over nine mile almost five hour adventure that left us sore and exhausted, but happy too. Even though we were tired and unsure of when we would actually reach the peak we kept moving. Even though we knew we would still have a long climb back down after we reached the top we still made it and enjoyed both the view and I really think the struggle in achieving something that felt challenging. We passed the sweetest looking old couple and marveled at how they actually made it to the peak. Sure, they were slow and a little sluggish but they sure enough they walked all the way to the top and it made me smile to pass them on our way back down.
Seven years ago on a warm August day I vowed my commitment and love for Jeff in a little church in Golden, CO. We often talk about how we might have treated our wedding differently, how we have grown up together and grown in confidence with ourselves. I can safely say you are still learning about "you" at 18, at 22...now at almost 30, yes, there is still learning and so much more to look forward to.
I am happy to have you by my side to continue to learn and grow.
Thank you to everyone for your kind words and loving thoughts to us today and always.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
let's go bananas
Here are some more pictures from Jalaine's baby shower. Jenn made the fabulous diaper cake and the monkey on top holding the banana was stuffed with love by Jason and Jenn's son Nathan and was so sweet I wanted to cry. Carolyn did a great job with the gift bags and the overall concept and had some amazing nails to match. Everyone was such a huge help and I was so happy to take part in creating such a special day.
As Kristen said "my uterus was screaming" haha!
It was a beautiful day for a sweet beautiful friend who really feels like more like a sister. I love you Jalaine!
Congratulations to Sean and Jalaine. We can't wait to meet you "Tad"!!
As Kristen said "my uterus was screaming" haha!
It was a beautiful day for a sweet beautiful friend who really feels like more like a sister. I love you Jalaine!
Congratulations to Sean and Jalaine. We can't wait to meet you "Tad"!!
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