i don't feel pretty today

Not on the inside. Not on the outside. Not pretty. I want to. The feeling is more than wanting to be attractive, it's a feeling of joy and contentment. I see the joy radiating from my child's face as he splashes in the water at the pool and that is pretty to me. But I want to experience that joy beyond feeling it through him.

I can't find the words lately.

Everything I do seems to remain undone.

Our country is an ugly whirling catastrophe of unhappiness. It's so mean. 

The pretty peeks through.

I want to feel it though, strongly. I don't want a sliver.

I don't feel pretty today.

I feel embarrassed and wrong and weird and afraid of saying the wrong thing.

I don't feel it but oh... how I want to.