can't even find the time

Time to create is somewhat elusive. I thought becoming a stay at home mom would allow me that space (as did many others in my circle) but with the demands of a three year old, finding time to do anything extra can be difficult and trying. Did you know three year olds change their minds within seconds and take approximately five hours to get ready to leave the house but can also run away from you, naked, screaming and destroying the pile of clothes you just folded in about two seconds? True story. Especially when you have a wandering, head in the clouds type of child. It doesn't help that I am also a wandering, head in the clouds type of person.

I do feel as if I'm constantly creating...in my mind. Creating something visual takes time and space and it helps (for me) to have little to no interruption when I am really into that creative zone. But first it has to ease and flow out of my mind and out into the real world of paints, pens, inks and paper. I imagine most artists have journals or sketchbooks to help capture ideas. I have a sort of "life book". Lots of things go into this journal. My thoughts, doodles, poems, artistic endeavors, recipes, wish lists, dreams, goals etc. 

The most breathtaking feeling is when I find that time to turn something from the pages of my life book into reality. 

Yet, typically, I can't even find the time. Of course, the honesty in me must show its snarky little face. Time is hiding in riveting movies and tv. It's lurking behind book covers. It is a shadow at the park while I push my son on the swings. It's sucked up in the swirl of dog hair rushing into the vacuum. It's stuck in the couch cushion as I stare out the window for much too long. 

Sometimes time is very direct with me, staring right into my eyes, and I pick up the pen or brush and then...nothing. Something beautiful is hiding inside my mind and it does not always want to come out and play with time.

But then. Oh, then...bliss. Time and the constant creation in my mind bump into each other, share a shy smile and hold hands for a while. Those are the moments when you step back, look at your work and think "damn, did I do that?!"

I mentioned in my previous post that I broke up with painting. Well, we starting flirting again and we got together last night. It was fun. It's still kind of a casual thing but it piqued my interest. I have a project I've been thinking about and I'm ready to let my mind spill onto the canvas.

Here is phase one. Next week I'll share my new painting project.